The Caravan of Love by Annie Lancaster

Author:Annie Lancaster
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: memoir, journal, diary, house-renovation, relocation, country-life, family-life, workmen-from-hell, caravan, west-cork, Newcastle, Ireland, England, tattooing, pets
ISBN: 9781785382543
Publisher: Andrews UK Limited 2015
Published: 2015-07-27T00:00:00+00:00

April 2006

Saturday 1st April 2006

Rob started April Fool’s Day by putting a rubber tarantula under my quilt ready for me to find when I made the bed this morning. It had the desired effect. He was more than satisfied. I had an idea of my own. I would phone Alfie and Pat, the builders, and tell them that the engineer had just been out and said that their brand new concrete floor was all wrong and had to be broken up and done again. But then I thought better of it. I wouldn’t want to scare them away.

Tom’s April Fool plan for me was the worst of all. He would phone me to say he had got another puppy. Thank God he didn’t. The damage done from my vicious tongue would have been irreparable and all for the sake of an April Fool joke.

Robin and me have been out all day. He had a soccer match at Skibbereen this morning, and yes, you’ve guessed, it was peeing down with rain (although it brightened up later). It was their last game of the season. In the afternoon he had to do his Tae kwon do grading exam with loads of others. It was hard to hear what the teacher was telling them to do, and it sounded very complicated.

Some horrible things have been happening over the last few days. I’m ashamed to say I have been guzzling two rather large glasses of wine most nights, to calm my shattered nerves. Milk Monday and Detox Tuesday have vanished from my weekly schedule.

Yesterday when I went to the barn to see if there were any letters, (that’s where the postie leaves them as we haven’t got a letter box) one letter had a note written on, asking me to collect a letter from the Post Office as it had to be signed for. Mm, I thought with glee, while rubbing my hands together. Either someone owes me some money, which will help out greatly with our house, or someone has sent me a lavish gift through the post to cheer me up.

So I rushed to the Post Office to collect my mystery letter to find there were no lavish gifts or huge cheques. Instead I looked down at a court summons, addressed to, and naming me as the accused. I couldn’t believe it. I raced home, legs like jelly, stomach churning, in a state of trauma. The summons was for that time I got stopped by the Police in Tom’s uninsured car. The court case is the day after Jamie’s 18 th birthday. I can’t possibly get over to see him now. I will surely lose my licence, or go to prison at worst, even though I’m innocent! Every day I see complete arsehole-type, dangerous drivers, and they never get stopped by the Police and arrested.

Prior to this bad news, I had some good news. It wasn’t to last long. Someone in England, from a big company agreed to try my hand-made healing balm in their three shops.

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